I never grew up with a Church based background, it just wasn't something that my family did because it wasn't something they did as kids either. Over the past few years I have really developed a strong relationship with God - I may not attend Church every Sunday but I certainly pray daily!
I pray when I am thankful, which I have a lot to be thankful for! I pray for others who are struggling emotionally, physically and even spiritually! I took a month last year to pray for a person who I have never been on friendly terms with, but I said a prayer for them each and every day that month and while circumstances with that situation have not changed, my outlook and response certainly has. I also pray when I am feeling stuck, insecure, sad and lonely!
Last week was a long week of feeling all of those things, especially stuck and lonely, and I prayed. Sometimes the words to my prayers do not always come easily but as I stumble through trying to find the right words, I embrace my feelings in hopes that God knows what it is I am asking for or need. I was having a lot of doubts, second guessing decisions and just being overly impatient with many aspects of my life. And just like that I started seeing posts on Facebook, hearing songs and even reading messages in different books that had the same two themes - patience and keep moving forward. I truly believe that was God telling me to slow down, be patient and take one day at a time and you will get to where you are going in due time - no need to rush a thing, just keep moving forward. One day at a time! And then just like that, I feel a big weight lifted off of my shoulders and I feel at peace once again.
While I was out walking the other day I came up with the perfect analogy for the messages I was receiving! My journey is like a long, brisk walk. I started off with a goal and maybe even a destination in mind. The walk starts off strong, full of energy and things are great - I reach my destination and realize I still need to get home. But I'm starting to get exhausted - my legs are wobbly, I'm out of breath, I'm cold and I feel so very far from home and the only way to get home is to keep moving forward. While I reached my original destination, my journey isn't over by a long shot! Along the way home I encounter distractions that take my mind away from the discomfort I am feeling, even for just a brief moment and just like that I am another block closer. I turn the corner and see the longest damn block ever - I'm a pro at this walking business and won't be discouraged, but I'm ready to be home too! I take it one block at a time and then I finally reach the end of the block, a small victory and head down a block toward my mother-in-law's apartment. Instead of turning a block early for a slightly shorter route, I decide to take a small detour and walk past it, feeling all of those emotions well up in my eyes all over again. But I still have to keep moving forward to get home! And I need the patience to continue that journey home! My life summed up in a brisk, February walk on my day off!
God is so very amazing! But I'm so ready for warmer days too!
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