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Setting Boundaries

I started to write about this a few days ago and wasn't sure what direction I wanted to take it, but I think I figured it out today.  My kids have been so attached to me since day one, and we have been in such close quarters for the entirety of their lives that they are literally up my a*! every moment they are with me.  For the longest time, I felt I owed it to them since I was a working Mom and only had so many hours to spend with them to begin with and they are only little for a such a short time.  I know they miss me and I also miss them, but at the same time - we need to figure out how to have our own space and our own time without "needing" the company of each other.  

I've been very irritated looking into their bedrooms and seeing all of the toys they have and they don't spend an ounce of time playing with any of them.  But that is on me too!  It's so easy to turn on the t.v. and give in to their demands to get a minute to unwind from my day without fights and arguments.  I'm starting to learn that maybe if I teach them to turn off the t.v. and go to their rooms and spend an hour playing with their own toys, taking time to themselves to also unwind from their own days - we can come back together less irritated and annoyed, while also learning a very important lesson that it is not only ok, but necessary to be alone sometimes too.

So far, they act like it's the worst punishment ever until they start getting into something they forgot they had.  Another part of that is to teach them to be able to instill boundaries of their own, their room - their rules!  I think they enjoy that and that is another fight entirely, but to see them learning to embrace their own space is part of the learning curve too.  

Raising little people is so very hard - as an adult, it's so easy to forget that they are still learning all of these things that took you years to figure out.  If you can remember that and help them figure some of these important life skills early on, they may just have one more foot in the door in this life journey.  Boundaries are important for kids and adults alike, but the lesson that it is ok to set boundaries and actually follow through with those boundaries is hard too.  Especially with strong willed children and demanding adults, but in the end all we can do is try to do our best and hope for the best outcome without losing our sanity.




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