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Backed into a Corner

I haven't really blogged lately.  I have had some major decisions to make and I'm not really sure where to even begin.  I blogged about being your own health advocate and taking control of your health, but the reality of it is - I feel like I'm backed into a freaking corner.  I'm researching and working through it and I am pretty confident in the journey I am taking but it wasn't easy by any means.

To recap, I went in to have a lump checked out that made me extremely nervous.  That lump ended up being ok, but additional screening showed lumps that were not ok!  Great, just my luck!  Uncomfortable MRI screenings, several biopsies later, multiple appointments to get to the blunt fact that my options were a lifetime of monitoring, scary pills and a high risk of developing cancer vs. cutting the damn things off and starting over.  All while getting divorced, navigating my life as a single parent and figuring my shit out!  It's enough to make a person crazy and while I do have an amazing support system, I can't help but feel awfully alone with making a decision like this.  And now every little pain makes me feel like I have a terminal illness that is going to leave my kids without a mom.

I can't downplay how scary this has been for me.  I am a very strong woman and I keep moving forward because I don't have any other options, but having to make this decision has been life altering for me.  I am so very thankful for my faith because that is what I am leaning on right now. While the last few weeks have been difficult, I do find some peace in my decision and I feel like I'm on the right track.  It's another muddy road to travel, but sometimes those muddy back roads are the best and give you the best memories.  It's the road less traveled!


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