Skip to main content

Backed into a Corner

I haven't really blogged lately.  I have had some major decisions to make and I'm not really sure where to even begin.  I blogged about being your own health advocate and taking control of your health, but the reality of it is - I feel like I'm backed into a freaking corner.  I'm researching and working through it and I am pretty confident in the journey I am taking but it wasn't easy by any means.

To recap, I went in to have a lump checked out that made me extremely nervous.  That lump ended up being ok, but additional screening showed lumps that were not ok!  Great, just my luck!  Uncomfortable MRI screenings, several biopsies later, multiple appointments to get to the blunt fact that my options were a lifetime of monitoring, scary pills and a high risk of developing cancer vs. cutting the damn things off and starting over.  All while getting divorced, navigating my life as a single parent and figuring my shit out!  It's enough to make a person crazy and while I do have an amazing support system, I can't help but feel awfully alone with making a decision like this.  And now every little pain makes me feel like I have a terminal illness that is going to leave my kids without a mom.

I can't downplay how scary this has been for me.  I am a very strong woman and I keep moving forward because I don't have any other options, but having to make this decision has been life altering for me.  I am so very thankful for my faith because that is what I am leaning on right now. While the last few weeks have been difficult, I do find some peace in my decision and I feel like I'm on the right track.  It's another muddy road to travel, but sometimes those muddy back roads are the best and give you the best memories.  It's the road less traveled!


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Health Advocate Update

A little over a month back, I blogged about a health scare and being your own best health advocate.  Fortunately I was able to update everyone that the initial biopsies came back cancer free.  That is still true today, however, after going forward with an additional biopsy at the recommendation of my doctor, I did get a final diagnosis of Atypical Ductal Hyperplasia (ADH), which is considered a pre-cancerous stage of abnormality.  I was very much overwhelmed with that diagnosis and kind of buried my head in the sand this past month.  My Dr. recommended that the lumps be excised (basically a lumpectomy) with the goal of making sure there was no cancer hidden within the lumps that the biopsies somehow missed.  I went ahead and scheduled the surgery but also kept my follow up appointment to give me a month to process the information and allow me an opportunity to discuss any follow up questions I had.  That appointment was yesterday and here is where I am at ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Sounds of Spring

Every season has it's own pros & cons. Tonight, I sit and listen to the birds! Each with their own song, their own tune and their own timing.  If you take a moment to just sit still and listen, you can hear their excitement for the long awaited spring and summer that we all anticipate.  I have a favorite part of every season, but spring is the one season that always inspires me and even excites me just as much as it does the plants and animals around me.  The days become longer, the temperatures are on the uphill slide, the sun feels so much warmer and the best part.....everything turns green and becomes alive again. We shed our winter coats and hopefully our frowns turn into smiles.  While winter is my least favorite season of them all, spring makes up for it in every way.  I'm excited to play in the dirt and feel the warm sunshine on my face.  I'm excited for the thunderstorms that wash away the winter grime, making way for the fresh growth of the Ear...
Post a Comment
Read more

Choose Life

I think one of the hardest things in life is watching someone you love struggle with addiction.  You watch them completely change from a person you knew and loved to a complete stranger you don't even recognize and many times there isn't a thing you can do about it.  You can talk to them until you are blue in the face, but until they decide to make the choice to fight for their own life, there isn't anything that is going to make them change. Life is hard!  Often times these addicts grow up getting shit on from a very young age, whether it's from their peers, whether it's just a crap hand dealt to them by the wheel of fortune that life is, or even their own internal feelings of hurt and loneliness.  They turn to whatever substance it is to help fill the void, they start surrounding themselves with people that further encourage their addiction and start to justify that it is ok to continue doing what they are doing because their life sucks.  It is so hard fo...
Post a Comment
Read more