Skip to main content

Learning How to Be Happy

When I look back at the last few years, I really admire the woman I have grown into and the obstacles I have overcome.  I am at peace with where I am today.  I am truly grateful for the path I have chosen to follow.  With that being said, there are still things I struggle with and it's an ever evolving process to continue to heal and grow.  We all have parts of ourselves that we struggle to accept and it's so hard to fully love ourselves when there are parts of us that we don't necessarily like.  

For me, I have discovered that I am overly independent to the point that it's not always healthy and learning to allow others into my life is so difficult for me.  I don't truly understand how to overcome this issue, but I am all too aware of how it affects my life and my relationships.  I find it easier to put a wall up and dig my heels into the dirt of negativity, than allow myself to be vulnerable and, dare I say it, happy!  I self-sabotage way more than I'd like to admit and the worst part is that I am mostly aware of when I am doing it. 

I wouldn't say this is necessarily the norm, but it is definitely something that has popped back up in my life recently and is an issue that I really want to learn how to bring into balance.  While I don't know how to exactly "fix" this part of myself, I think acknowledging it and giving myself a little grace is the first step.  I also have to remind myself that I don't have to be so darn hard on myself all of the time either.  I am very lucky to have people in my life who not only know I struggle with this, but who love me anyway.  No matter what walls I put up, they are always there when they come back down again and I am forever thankful for these amazing people in my life! 

So here's to a little grace, healing, positive energy and lots of love & laughs moving forward.  Here's to learning how to be happy!! 




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Health Advocate Update

A little over a month back, I blogged about a health scare and being your own best health advocate.  Fortunately I was able to update everyone that the initial biopsies came back cancer free.  That is still true today, however, after going forward with an additional biopsy at the recommendation of my doctor, I did get a final diagnosis of Atypical Ductal Hyperplasia (ADH), which is considered a pre-cancerous stage of abnormality.  I was very much overwhelmed with that diagnosis and kind of buried my head in the sand this past month.  My Dr. recommended that the lumps be excised (basically a lumpectomy) with the goal of making sure there was no cancer hidden within the lumps that the biopsies somehow missed.  I went ahead and scheduled the surgery but also kept my follow up appointment to give me a month to process the information and allow me an opportunity to discuss any follow up questions I had.  That appointment was yesterday and here is where I am at ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Friendships!

 So when I was told about your death, I was in denial.  I spent the better part of the day trying to find out if what I was told was a big fat lie!  It wasn't - deep down deep I already knew that!  I walked up on your porch - didn't have to even see your family and I broke down.  You know me, sensitive as always! Anyways, Val, you and I met through a Sunday School classroom that neither of us really felt like we belonged.  But we made the most of it and we put together some really neat programs for our kiddos.  You were the first person I confided in about my divorce and my scare with breast cancer and my decision to undergo a crazy surgery.  You were always in my corner!  You also took me kayaking for the 1st time, so you had my heart then for sure! You shaped two young men who would offer to shovel out my driveway.  You sent your husband to help me with frozen pipes.  And Emmy, who has your heart!!  We haven't seen each other...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Sounds of Spring

Every season has it's own pros & cons. Tonight, I sit and listen to the birds! Each with their own song, their own tune and their own timing.  If you take a moment to just sit still and listen, you can hear their excitement for the long awaited spring and summer that we all anticipate.  I have a favorite part of every season, but spring is the one season that always inspires me and even excites me just as much as it does the plants and animals around me.  The days become longer, the temperatures are on the uphill slide, the sun feels so much warmer and the best part.....everything turns green and becomes alive again. We shed our winter coats and hopefully our frowns turn into smiles.  While winter is my least favorite season of them all, spring makes up for it in every way.  I'm excited to play in the dirt and feel the warm sunshine on my face.  I'm excited for the thunderstorms that wash away the winter grime, making way for the fresh growth of the Ear...
Post a Comment
Read more