Just An Iowa Woman

I am so proud of myself and the journey I am taking right now!   I am really learning the concept of self-love for the first time in my entire life.   I am looking in the mirror and I am happy with the woman I see looking back at me.   I am the most confident I have ever been, I feel strong, capable and so very happy.   It took me a very long time to find her, but now that I have I am not letting her go ever again.   I can’t change my past but I can certainly reflect back and see how it helped to shape me into the person I am today.   Every part of my past brought me to where I am now.   There were moments that almost broke me, years I spent settling because that’s what I was supposed to do, years of feeling numb and lost in life. Today, I am fighting for that woman!   She has a heart of gold and will try her best to be kind and smile at everyone no matter how she is feeling.   She is brave and she is no longer going to let the world or anyone in it bring her down, no matter what

On a very impulsive whim, I decided to book myself a weekend trip to Florida.  For the past several weeks I had seriously been thinking about jumping on an airplane and just going somewhere, anywhere, to get away!  Ironically, it wasn't until I had a very amazing conversation with someone about being adventurous that it dawned on me how unadventurous I really am and how much I would like to change that.  I am not a very big risk taker and it sometimes takes me forever to make important decisions, spending hours upon hours researching, thinking of the pros and cons, changing my mind a million times but something inside of me was inspired and motivated to just go out there and do something I have always wanted to do - see the Ocean!   So I booked the trip! At first, I wasn't sure if I would go through with it and I almost talked myself out of it a hundred times.  But in the end, I went.  I was a little intimidated taking this trip by myself, but I made a conscience decision

Every single day you are faced with choices, you are faced with struggles and you are faced with,  well...life itself.  Life is demanding and some days it is so very hard.  Something that I am starting to learn and something that I try to tell others is to find a few things that you are thankful for each and every day! You wouldn't believe how much that transforms your mindset and puts a new perspective on your challenges.  Here are the things I am thankful for this day: My Friends:  They will forever be my happy place, they ground me, they lift me up, they encourage me and they always let me know how much I mean to them.  There isn't a single time I leave them feeling nothing but loved with a great big hug to send me on my way.  And I really needed that after the few weeks I've had lately. New Experiences:  I am learning to let go a little at a time and I am slowly lowering the walls that surround me.  I am a very closed person who gives off a rather grumpy vibe a

I recently had a lump appear on my right breast that had me worried enough to go and get it checked out.   I went to my normal OBGYN and she ordered a mammogram and ultrasound, the radiologist reading the ultrasound really didn’t seem very confident to me and the mammogram came back inconclusive because of my breast density, but the letter from my OBGYN pretty much said all was a o.k. even with the conflicting results from the other testing.   Luckily for me I work in an office that coordinates the Care for Yourself program that handles breast screenings and a little encouragement to get a referral to a breast specialist, I opted for said referral especially since my mom had breast cancer at such a young age.   And also because I was not at all comfortable with that inconclusive mammogram report. I met with the specialist and I was very happy with his thoroughness.   He didn’t brush off my concerns but rather confirmed that I was at a much higher risk due to my mom’s history and

After several emotional weeks, I've started to realize that part of the healing process for me is actually embracing the feelings that I am feeling.  There are so many bottled up emotions inside of me, I always felt I had to be strong and I kept such a tough exterior for so long in an attempt to show the world that I could not and would not be broken.  I cried so many silent tears, but recently I have cried like I've never cried before, and a lot of people close to me can probably attest to that too.  It is such a strange feeling for me to just let go and roll with these emotions.  For so long I felt like if I cried, it meant I felt bad about the decisions I made so I put on a fake smile and braved it like nothing in this world bothered me.  I felt like I was admitting that I somehow failed if I showed any differently!  In reality, while every decision I made was the absolute best decision and I have zero regrets, at some point I had to start feeling my feelings too.  I am at